Thoughts of the Day ♥

Today was the first day back at work after the long holiday weekend. I'm feeling pretty anxious about getting back on track after yesterday's craziness. Eating freely is a definitely a double-edged sword. I want to feel "normal" and eat like my friends do, but the guilt and depression that follows because of it is sometimes almost unbearable. I mean, great, I got to eat at Sonic's and try a little of this, a little of that - but at the end of all of it, I can only think about the calories. And that ends up being really sucky. Plus, I end up in this weird funk that makes me not want to do anything. I just get down on myself like "what's the point". I guess after all this time, it's good that I can anticipate these feelings so I can equivocate them as being my "norm." That makes it more familiar and less scary. I also know that these feelings won't last long. In a couple days my body will be telling me that I need to workout and I will. I have 2 more weeks until I'm supposed to be getting certified in turbo kickboxing. So.... I kind of HAVE to get into gear. I'm really scared about it, but excited at the same time. My biggest problem is remembering that the way I look doesn't dictate my athleticism. I can do more at my weight than people half my size and that's pretty incredible. Hmm... not feeling so terrible afterall now. :) yay!