Yup! There's no other way to put it! I feel like I've been waiting all year for my race season to start and now that it's here, I hardly feel prepared! Well okay, in fairness to myself, I am prepared. I have now done this many times and know that I will make it through no matter what. But the combination of the trouble I've been having with my lungs and my own self-doubt is making me really freaking out.
I'm going today to pick up my bib! I'm # 10008 - which leads me to believe this race is going to be MASSIVE. Long Beach may have been the last one (and my first one) where that many were running side by side. I am having regrets about not running Big Sur again this year. It was my favorite run and I'd like to relive it. Maybe next year (when, of course, I'm down to my goal weight) I will run it again and blow my time out of the water.
It's kind of funny when I think about it. I always hated running. Really, it stemmed from a begrudging place in my heart because I just couldn't run with my asthma as bad as it was. And, now, I can totally run but choose not to in between races because I'm so scared that I'll injure myself and not be able to anymore. I'm very grateful to have completely blown any medical diagnoses out the window with every step I take and it makes me not want to take it for granted.
I'm rambling. I think I need more coffee. And I need to get out of here. I'm so excited and scared and nervous and confident all at the same time. My emotions are just totally run together in a flurry. OH! And... I weighed myself... I think I'm going to have an exciting bottom line number for the last 2 weeks come Monday!! WOOHOO! =D
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