Welcome Message.

Benvenuto! (Welcome!)

This month marks just over 1-year since my journey with weightloss, health, and fitness has started. I've decided to begin documenting the changes that I continue to experience as I lose weight, become more active, and try new things. During the past year I've gained a love and obsession for running, turbo kickoboxing, and yoga. I've run 1 5K, 1 12K, 9 Half Marathons, and 1 21-Miler in 4 states since October 2009... and I'm nowhere near finished!

Changing your life, though, can really sometimes be a very lonely experience. And this is where this journaling thing comes in: a public connection to what would otherwise be a private experience.

My plan is this: be honest. I'm going to be documenting the food I eat, the exercises I do, and all the other things that happen during this journey to help me succeed... and talk about how I overcome the failures that will inevitably occur as part of it.

I'm not giving myself an exact timeframe, just the ultimate goal of being where I want to be in the end.

So here I go... across the start line of the longest marathon of my life. Scared, but excited as hell! :)

Written Day 1: 07.01.10

Modified 1.3.11 to add new running info!

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

HATING LIFE

I really am hating my life right now. This month sucks. Everything is making me emotional. I'm binging constantly. And for what? It makes me feel horrible. The scale is going up and down more often than Drop Zone at Great America. It's driving me bananas. I don't know what this insufferable hunger is, but I hate it. I feel like unless I'm totally stuffing my face, I'm unhappy. Which really just indicates that, at the end of the day... I am just unhappy.

I'm unhappy with my inability to lose weight, the fact that the guy I like is confusing at best, and that my ex-boyfriend continues to be a constant source of disappointment. I sometimes wonder if I will ever learn. The worst part about it is how it affects my focus. Instead of keeping my eye on this lustrous prize of reaching my goal weight, I'm scatterbrained about what's wrong in my life.

I don't really have an answer as to how to move forward at this point. I stopped tracking a week ago. I am basically starving myself today because I have been eating so much lately that I feel miserable. It's not a good feeling...
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